Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else: “Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: “I thank you, God, that I am not like other people – cheaters, sinners, adulterers. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.” But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, “O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.” I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. Luke 18:9-14 NLT
This account from Jesus shows us that the twin problems self-righteousness and lack of self-awareness are deeply linked. The Pharisee was self-righteous, judging the tax collector’s flaws while being completely blind to his own. Then and now, self-righteousness is recognizable to everyone but the self-righteous. Self-righteousness creates a false sense of moral superiority by focusing on others’ weaknesses and mistakes, believing oneself to be inherently better or more right than others. Pharisees then and now have an inability or unwillingness to consider other perspectives or admit mistakes. Excusing and blaming are deep in the DNA, apologizing and accepting correction are foreign. Self-righteousness lacks empathy and compassion, assigning the struggles of others to their ignorance, flaws, and irresponsibility, yet accepting no responsibility for their own personal difficulties. Lack of self-awareness is self-congratulatory, always seeking and manipulating validation instead of being content with honest internal reflection.
On the other hand, true self-awareness recognizes one's own imperfections, sees oneself as a flawed person in need of grace and mercy, and is willing to extend it to others. While a self-righteous person uses their perceived righteousness as a shield and deludes themselves. A self-aware person never assumes perfection but has a bias for growth and is very open to learning from others.
- • True self-awareness was and is essential for being a disciple of Jesus and attracting others to follow. To have it, I must cultivate humility, daily accept that I don't know everything, and be open and respectful to different people and viewpoints. Practice curiosity. Actively ask God to help you seek and consider information that challenges “what I’ve always thought.” Urging people to think new thoughts was what got Jesus in trouble with self-righteous, religious people. Listen actively. Engage with others' perspectives without immediately trying to correct them or push my own. Seek honest feedback on my blind spots, My “difficult people” may be the cause for my greatest growth.