All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NLT
Grief comes in all shapes and sizes. There’s the grief of losing a loved one to death, the grief of a bad health diagnosis, a struggling or broken marriage, wandering children, loss of a friendship, termination of a job, the grief of aging. You can add more. The list of the losses and events that can wound us and cause excruciating grief seems endless. However, God can transform surrendered grief into a profound instrument for spiritual growth, deeper compassion, and an intimate experience of His comfort. My son Jacob described how God helped him with his grief this way. “My grief over Dad’s death at first seemed overwhelming and unmanageable. Initially it was like attempting to power lift a weight never before attempted, so heavy I can hardly move it. But with consistent, regular lifting, I become stronger and can manage what seemed insurmountable before. Working with God doesn’t change the weight of the grief. But He does make me strong and able. I can even help others.”
How does God make me stronger and my grief usable?
I bring my real thoughts and emotions to God. I don’t ever need to minimize or pretend with Him. Read the Psalms. God invites me to be like David and bring my cries, my raw unfiltered pain to Him. I fully acknowledge my loss, I don’t stuff my sorrow, and I face my loss as inevitable in a broken world.
I release my grief to God. Surrender means I release my right to understand all the “whys” and instead trust God to care for me. When I willingly place my grief in Jesus’ hands rather than clutching it and burying it in my heart, bitterness is defeated. God uses my broken places to shape me like Jesus and make me more usable for His purposes. As I release my grief to Him, I quit relying on myself and my coping mechanisms, and He comes very near to me.
His promise of comfort becomes tangible. Jesus said that those who mourn will be comforted (Matthew 5:4), and I find my grief soothed and my broken heart begins to heal.
God uses me to minister to others. God frequently uses the grief life writes into our stories so we can offer authentic comfort and empathy to others walking through similar dark valleys. We understand and share wisdom and solace we would gain no other way except through loss.
- Another unexpected way God uses our surrendered grief for good is that it helps us loosen our grip on earthly things that are temporary. We start living more for the things of eternal value than things that pass away. Heaven becomes more real, and we are more focused on helping others prepare for eternity.